What you really need for a baby

baby essentials by addielore on Polyvore

I am generally a "you do it your way, I'll do it mine" type, so I have not had a very thorough blog for the reason that I do not usually share my advice unsolicited with people. I do not presume to be an expert in many things. 

That said I see a lot of my friends these days pinning, what you absolutely must register for lists, by those claiming to be minimalists, and yet containing a large number of things which I do not consider to be even remotely necessary. So in the interest of minimalism, not for it's own sake, but for the sake of a Christian ethic that rejects consumerism for it's misuse of both personal and global resources, I have decided it is time for me to throw in my own two cents.  

So this comes with a disclaimer that I am not going to judge you as a bad Christian if you buy more than this for your baby, or even if you tell your friends I'm a total moron. But I hope that this will be helpful, and put your mind at ease that babies do not in fact require very many belongings. 

For a long time I have yearned for minimalism. Clutter actually drives me crazy. I cannot stand the feeling that I always need something else, and I often have the feeling that if God suddenly called us to a new place I need to be able to go very quickly. And yet with registering, both for my marriage, and for my first child, the lists put on me this great pressure to get everything. This list reflects what we find we actually use, after four pregnancies worth of research and three babies worth of actual experience. 

1. Somewhere for baby to sleep. This will look different for each family. You may want your baby in his/her own room in a crib that will change into a toddler bed and then into a twin, or your baby may simply sleep in your own bed for the first year or two. We actually have a few different options. I love my cosleeper (made by my mom and RJ) because I can nurse baby in bed, laying down, and simply roll over and lay them in their own bed when they are finished and I need more space. The down side to this is that baby outgrows it around 6 months, so we need something bigger. We also have a pretty wooden crib, actually a port-a-crib size, since it was cheaper, and takes up less space than a full crib, but still fits up to a two year old. The down side to this is that it take up more space, and that I have to get up to get baby and then put them back after a feeding. The third piece is a pack'n'play, and if you are really on a budget this is all you really need. It is short enough to use beside the bed for a cosleeper, yet large enough for up to a two year old, and it can travel with you for holidays and vacations. Also in this category, by default, is blankets, although they will use them for a lot more than sleeping. We like to have 4-6 swaddle blankets. I make new ones for each baby's design scheme (since they don't have a nursery to decorate) out of 1 1/4 yds flannel. They are big enough (45x45") and stick well for swaddling. If you are careful to cut with the grain they will stay square! We also have one bamboo velour cuddle blanket and one floor quilt for each baby. If you have carpet a floor quilt is optional, especially since the the window between when baby is old enough to play on the floor, and when he/she will just crawl right off it isn't very long.

2. Travel Gear. The most absolutely necessary is a car seat (assuming you have a car). Since it is required by law, and for even the most basic level of child safety. They are however quite heavy to carry about, and studies are now showing the negative effects on babies whose parents leave them in these carriers the majority of the day, rather than holding or carrying them. For this reason, almost any time we are not in the car we use a wrap carrier. I have a sleepy wrap, which I love, but it's a bit of a commitment (complicated to put on) for a quick walk to the mail box, or to see if it will calm baby while I wash dishes. So I would like to try a sling as well. Also in this category is a diaper bag, although I prefer to just use a larger purse/book bag for myself, and throw in a Thirty-One zipper pouch with baby's things. If you are anything like me, you probably have a few options already in your closet, but a new baby is a great excuse for a new bag.

3. Diapers. I have a lot of other information on here about this topic, but for now I will say this. Cloth is so simple. I have heard so many friends say that they don't even think of it as any more work than disposables any more, and others say that although it takes more time it is always a good time for their family. Cloth is not only a better use of personal and global resources, but it demonstrates the love you have for doing beautiful things for your baby like paper diapers never can. I recommend 8 covers and 24 inserts each in a two size system, for the most budget efficient. If you are having more than 2 kids I think it is also worth getting 12-18 newborn all in ones and 12-18 newborn fitteds along with a stash of medium and extra large covers, for a better fit through every stage. You will definitely get your money's worth out of them. You will also need a diaper pail liner, two travel wet bags and 3 or 4 dozen wipes. If you have a little room to splurge get a diaper sprayer, it makes clean up soooo easy. This is the longest section on here, because honestly well over half of what we own for our children is diapers. They just don't need much stuff. Aside from a cosleeper or crib, the only other furnishings you might need for baby is to make sure you have baskets or shelves for clothes and diapers. Again, you probably already have some things like this around the house and will just need to do some rearranging.

4. Clothing. This is simple. You need 8-10 outfits per size, but people will likely buy you more than that for shower gifts, whether you register for it or not, so buying clothes is really dependent on how picky you are about what your baby wears. Also, most will advise getting clothes in a variety of sizes, but be careful, because you never know how fast they will grow. They will end up in a larger or smaller size than you bought for this season, and sometimes skip over a size all together. The bottom line: you may end up with more clothes than anything else, but that does not mean that this category should be anything you worry about. grab what you need as you go and be grateful for gifts at showers, birthdays, and christmas. People will love buying your baby clothes.

5. Feeding. Ultimately you need nothing for this category for 6+ months besides your own boobs. There are a few things that may be helpful though. I love my Boppy pillow. It helps so much to prevent an aching back and shoulders, especially when baby is very small. We have two covers, so we can change it when it get's spit up on. Aside from blankets our favorite baby accessory is burp rags. Now you could just use blankets, but we would go through too many. I have six that are hand dyed newborn prefolds. Whatever you do don't get the ones with regular quilting cotton prints sewn down the middle, because that stuff is not absorbant at all, and it will drive you nuts (if you are as picky as me). I also make a few flannel ones to match baby's blankets, and have finally found my favorite pattern. Maybe I will share it on here sometime. The other feeding thing that we have loved is my Milkies milk catcher. You just put it on the side you aren't nursing from and it catches the drips. I am terrible at pumping, so this has been a real help for having bottles for babysitters. We have two glass evenflo bottles, and that is all we have needed. If you do have to pump, get a really good one, like a hygeia, or you will go nuts. 

After six months all you need is smaller spoons and unbreakable plates. I'm serious. We did baby led weaning with Julian and will with Oscar and all future babies. There is really no need to buy bottles of food or even to puree and freeze your own. just give baby bits of what you are having and as long as they are still nursing on demand, don't sweat it if nothing actually makes it into their mouths.

6. Medicine, Baths and Toiletries. This is the list that can get so long sometimes, but we use hardly any of the things we got for Efrim. For the first 6 months to a year all you need is gripe water or gas drops, and an amber necklace plus maybe some teething tablets if that is not enough. After that we give the boys bioplasma, echinacea, saline nose spray, and emergen-C if they are having cold symptoms, along with peppermint, lavender, or eucalyptus in the essential oil diffuser, and vix if it get's really bad. We use Ibuprofen if their fevers get really bad, but put off treating a fever as long as we can. For upset stomach we try to get as much pedialyte down them as possible. None of these are things you need on hand before you bring baby home, and none of them need to be registered for.

We bath babies in the sink until they are old enough to sit up reliably on their own. We have a simple fast drying foam mat. We don't always even use soap. When we do I use Honest Co. Shampoo and Body Wash, because I trust them more than any other to be pure and safe. The kids do not have special baby towels or wash rags, we use our towels and the same wash cloths we use for cloth wipes. I also love this sponge brush that comes with our home-birth kit. Afterward we rub them in my Curel, Honest Healing Balm (which could be listed above for any type of abrasions or cuts, we use it for everything), or Coconut oil.

As far as special toiletries I swear the only one we use is the smaller fingernail clippers. Nose suckers never work, even Nosefrida. Medicine usually comes with it's own droppers. I feel like this list went on forever when I was registering, but I honestly can't even think of anything else, because we just don't use them.

To summarize, and show you just exactly how short the list is, this is a baby registry/shopping checklist:

1. Crib, cosleeper, and/or pack'n'play

2. 4-6 swaddle blankets

3. Cuddle Blanket

4. Floor quilt (optional)

5. Car Seat

6. Wrap carrier and/or sling

7. Diaper Bag or clutch (optional)

8. Diaper Stash
    8 small, 8 large covers
    24 small, 24 large easy folds or flats
    12-18 nb all in ones, 12-18 nb fitteds (optional)
    8 medium, 4 x-large covers (optional)

9. Wet bags and cloth wipes - diaper sprayer (optional)

10. Clothes

11.  Boppy and covers

12. 6-12 Burp rags

      optional

13. Milk-Catcher and/or pump

14. Bottles

15. Gripe Water

16. Amber Necklace

17. Foam bath mat

18. Baby Wash

19. Scrub Brush

20. Fingernail clippers

Now that looks manageable doesn't it!

To my son

This week has really been a struggle, with physical and emotional symptoms blending together until I no longer know which came first. Though none of these trials have been resolved, the love and support of my friends Betsy and Amanda and others, have brought me back to the peace that passes all understanding. Over and over during the last month I have been replaying this same little conversation with Oscar that I wanted to share, both to record it for him to read in the future, and to help anyone else who is going through a hard time, whether similar or not.

Oscar,

I want you to know right off the bat that you will not be born to the same parents who had Efrim and Julian. Losing your sister has transformed your Daddy and I to the heart. None of the experiences of your pregnancy and birth will come with the same unmingled joy we experienced with our first two babies. We found out we were expecting you only two weeks before Lucy's first birthday. We didn't know how we could share happy news with our loved ones in the middle of such painful memories. Last month we found out your gender within days of Lucy's headstone being delivered to the cemetery. And every step along the way, as we prepare to meet you, these joyful milestones serve also as painful reminders of all we are missing, of the hole in our family where Lucy should be, of the sister you three boys will never know.

What you also need to know, however, is that this does not diminish our love for you in any way. In fact, I think in many ways you will be born to stronger, wiser, and more deeply joyful parents than your big brothers first knew. Our love for and experience of you is more rich and deep because we know more fully of it's fragility, of how truly precious you are, and the blessing that each child is to a home, each day we share with you, however few. You will receive the love that Mommy's arms have saved up for 30 months, longing for a baby to hold.

Your name is Oscar Pax. Oscar means the Lord's warrior, and Pax means peace. I want you to know that our Lord gives peace that passes all understanding. Truly he has blessed us with greater peace in the midst of our deepest sorrow than I ever could have imagined before. He came into the world and leaves his Spirit with the church to establish a kingdom of such peace that lions will lay down with lambs and our swords will be beaten into plow shares, but little one, this is a hard fought peace. A peace that passes understanding is one that comes in circumstances that are anything but peaceful.  It is a peace in the midst of confusion, brokenness, and anguish. This world is not an easy place, but we serve an impossible God, who gives us peace in the midst of our hardest battles.

I know that at times I will have unreasonable expectations for you to fill my heart with joy. I promise to turn to God for that satisfaction, and allow you to be a silly little boy, who doesn't do everything right, and sometimes gets on my nerves. I know that sometimes I will be tempted never to let go of you, for fear of losing you, but I promise to ask our Father for the courage to let you be free. After all, I have learned nothing if not that you are really his to begin with, and he is really the one who protects you after all. I know that sometimes I will feel sadness for missing your sister when I want only to feel joy for knowing you, but I promise to be honest, to honor you both with the truth, so that my hurt does not build up inside to hurt others in turn.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

Why we're revealing the gender of our baby after all.

RJ and I are not fun-faces-when-we-get-a-surprise kind of people. So we've never done the whole gender reveal party thing. But in a world where most of our friends do, a text to reveal the gender of our fourth child seemed a little underwhelming. We decided it would be much more fun for our friends and family to be surprised at the birth, the old fashioned way.

But the other day I had a change of heart. Our last baby, Lucy, was still born at 36 weeks, and the love and support for her were overwhelming. It was as if everyone already knew her. As much as I felt we had been robbed of her life, the most important thing I clung to was the time we had indeed shared. I realized that, come what may, I didn't want to keep our friends and family from the opportunity to love and dream of this baby, even now. So we are happy to announce...

Oscar Pax Barnett

  will be joining a family near you, September 2013!

A third way of parenting

About a year before our first son was born we started looking for books on parenting. It seemed to us at the time that the people we knew with really fussy kids recommended attachment parenting books. The things they said made sense, but we didn't want kids who cried all the time like theirs. They couldn't go anywhere. Their whole lives revolved around what made their baby feel good. In contrast we knew some people with really laid back babies, who seemed to go with the flow. Their schedule was predictable, and mom and dad were in control of activities. These parents all recommended the book Baby Wise. So this is what we went with.

I read the whole book, and made a plan before Efrim got here. But somehow in all of this we tried our best to follow Baby Wise, and ended up with one of those screaming kids anyway. I tried to feed Efrim on the schedule they recommended, but he always acted like he was starving. I tried to get him on a nap routine, and he fought tooth and nail. I was always going against what I felt like I should do. Parents are supposed to impose structure they said, your baby needs you to tell him what to do when in order to feel secure, but this didn't work for us. Efrim was unhappy, I was unhappy.

So when we got pregnant with Julian we read The Attachment Parenting Book. It had a lot of helpful information, but I ended up loving another book even more. Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing surprisingly became my favorite. I was looking for a little bit of help with spacing our children without relying on oral contraceptives or using condoms all the time. I humored the fact that it was written from the perspective of, "This is the way the Church (catholic) says we should space our children." But what I found was a lot of the same principles as I found in attachment parenting literature, but with a purpose. We don't listen to our instincts because it prevents obesity and keeps our children from becoming sociopaths, but because God gave our babies the tools to communicate and he gave us the hormonal/instinctual responses that we were supposed to have.

Then came the feminist backlash. While Julian was in my belly, or a tiny baby in my arms I started coming across these articles protesting that attachment parenting was reversing the tide of feminism and shackling women back to their home and babies. I wrote these off as ridiculous. Children are a blessing, It's selfish to neglect them in order to pursue your own career. Someone has to raise them, and if it's not you it's a professional nanny, and what does that do to feminism? She said early feminists dreamed of children being raised in communal kitchens and nurseries, and equated this to the modern marvel of daycare -- yuck. And yet, while I haven't changed my mind about these initial responses, I began to ache, and chafe under the constraints of being a live in nanny/day care planner in my own home. My kids are my first ministry. Absolutely. But does that mean that for the next 25 years they are my only ministry, my only vocation?

I began to see that I was not a good parent to my kids when I was an unhappy person. I saw that by postponing my other callings until my kids were independent, I was putting at least half of who I was as a person on a shelf to wait for later. By some happy accidents, and a lot of tortured nights awake, I began to rediscover the parts of me I'd been missing. I'd thought I had to choose. It was almost too easy to go back to school. Logsdon's program, while making our lives a lot busier, really has not disrupted my parenting at all. And I've found that when I am a lot happier, even when I am just as tired, my kids are happier too.

Photo from WrapYourBaby.com

As I embraced both parts of my identity I began to have more grace for my friends who thrive on turning their homes into perfect baby centered Montessori preschools, and also for my friends who were leaving eight week old babies at day care to return to work. But neither of these was me. Where did I fall into all of this. I felt like there had to be a way for RJ and I to do ministry and art and academic work with our kids in tow. I knew this was best for us, I had a feeling it was best for them, and I really believe it is best for the people we interact with also. But in a world telling me my kids should be in the nursery so they aren't distracting, or that I shouldn't be taking them somewhere that is just for my benefit in the first place, where was I getting this idea. Clearly there are two worlds; big people world, and kids world, and the two should never meet, except for the stay at home moms and day care workers who are trapped in kid world.

Then it hit me, the reason I thought this would work. I was raised like this. My parents had a calling to engage in culture missionally, but they also had a conviction that it was their responsibility to raise their children themselves, not to delegate that to someone else. They didn't need to be separated from us in order to do their work, and they didn't let a prescribed list of kid-friendly activities dictate their plans. And I wouldn't trade that upbringing for anything. I realize it may limit the churches or para-church ministries that will hire me, it will shape the way we build a business, and it will often be offensive to people that we "brought kids here." But our work and our kids are not separate parts of our lives. This used to be the norm, worldwide, when babies rode in slings while Mom got her work done, and helped out from the time they learned to walk. So our work isn't farming anymore. If we think it's valuable and stimulating I think they will too. I did.

I'm just trying to take some frugal, organizing steps.

O Jerusalem, Jerusalem

Listening to Matisyahu sing "Jerusalem" on the way home from New Testament always gets to me. I remember Dr. Lyle's earnestness in speaking of Paul's yearning for the salvation of his fellow Jews. He says in Romans 9:1-5 that he would give his own salvation if it meant that his brethren could accept the gospel.

He always gets a little wistful when he talks about Paul sitting on the shore at Corinth, his heart wanting to go to Rome, but feeling compelled to take the offering of the Gentile churches to the church in Jerusalem himself. I never understood why until tonight -- his heart being pulled two ways at once, and I'll never read Romans again without seeing the fingers laced with Jerusalem.

I feel with Paul because I see in the lives of those I love most dearly -- those who share my own heritage -- I see every one who was left dead inside by a Church who keeps a smile while with abuse behind closed doors, I see every one who heard no shortage of judgement, but ultimately failed to receive the answers to the questions that haunted the most, every one who gave all they had to give and then watched as the Church turn her back when there was nothing left, every one who was told faith is something we do at home but it doesn't really effect our choices, every one who just has so much hurt that letting down those walls is more than anyone can bear.

I see Jesus standing on the hill as he walks deliberately toward his own death saying, "O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the city that kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to it! How often would I have gathered your children together as a hen gathers her brood under her wings, and you would not!"
I hear this song, and I see Paul and Jesus and Israel and the ones my heart loves and I would give my own salvation to undo the hurt and gather them under the wings of the Lord.

Amazima

Amazima means truth in Luganda. Katie Davis, Ugandan expat, Mommy, and founder of Amazima Ministries says in her book,

For more information go to Amazima.org or KissesFromKaite.blogspot.com.

Also check out http://www.howtoadopt.org.

I have been working and working on our Real Food/Weston A. Price diet, but I think the Barnett house is about to take a different approach to food budgeting. In Katie's book she tells a story of being home on a fund raising trip, in her parent's suburban home with abundantly full pantries, when her newest daughter said to her over the phone, "Thank you for food, Mommy. Today I am still alive." What if we all ate the same types of simple meals people eat all over the world, not starving, just simpler, and gave the difference in our food budget to those who don't have any at all. It's just a baby step in living simply, so that others can live.

Lucy's Birth Story

You know when you keep having all of those symptoms you had with your past pregnancies, and even though it's improbable, and you know your paranoid self took four pregnancy tests before you were actually expecting the last one, you can't quit thinking you may be pregnant, and you can't take a test yet, so you just have to live in limbo? That's where I have been this week, and also tired and sick, and with a lot of toddler screaming.

So even though I have spent the last two weeks hoping to start trying again in August, just because I need a baby to hold so much, and it would make Lucy's place in our family so concrete if there was the same spacing as we've had so far, I have been on a real roller coaster with trying to wrap my mind around everything that would be involved with actually being pregnant again right now.

In the midst of that I swear I have come across like 6 birth stories this week, and I have been so emotional. You know when something makes you feel so strongly, and you can't quite put your finger on it until you are trying to figure out how to explain it to someone else? That is why I am writing this tonight. Because RJ is exhausted (like I am too), and I will cry less and get less of a headache writing it than talking out loud anyway.

I keep thinking of my births. How special it really is. Sometimes I think people like my friend Tori are so crazy to get excited even about other people's births, but for the first time I keep thinking about how amazing those moments are. Working so hard, and then right when it is more than you think you can stand, it's over, and you are holding the most amazing thing you will ever experience, and no matter how many you already have, your family is completely new all over again.

I keep thinking that, and just being so angry that all of that was ruined with my special girl. I just want to scream at the injustice of that moment turning in to, the panic in RJ's voice begging and pleading with our daughter too breathe, begging God to help her, to help us, the neighbors rushing in to see me completely exposed, and the paramedics taking Lucy and RJ away from me, and the boys screaming as Mary Beth and Leah, who just showed up to relax and watch tv, closing their to try and protect their innocent hearts from the horror going on around them, and the police questioning Betsy and I, and the endless minutes setting up an IV and heart monitors on me, a perfectly healthy person before they would follow my baby, and knowing every minute I got to hold her that it would never be enough…

As I read these amazing birth stories, and think of those moments I shared with Lucy. I never really got what these women who advocate unassisted birth were going on and on about. How it made them feel so empowered as women. I thought they were just arrogant, and extreme, and wanted to do everything themselves, because they felt they needed to prove something. But completely not according to any plan I had an unassisted birth, and for a few moments, I understood where they are coming from.

Even though Lucy's one and a half hour birth was so intense, and completely unexpected in so many ways, I felt so much more present than with the boys. I don't know if empowering, is the word, but what an incredible experience. In those moments of the last few pushes I suddenly realized that the baby I hadn't been sure I was having real labor with 15 minutes ago would be here in seconds. I reached down and felt the top of her head only an inch inside of me, in one push it was out, and I felt the cord and unwrapped it, and caught her tiny body in the next push. All By Myself. Just the two of us. For the first time I wasn't a passive, barely conscious, bystander in the act of my child's coming into the world. That was the most incredible moment of my life. A moment that should have been life.

Instead it was death, and I am still not really sure what to do with that. I am so angry that I don't get to have her, to know her, that every precious stage my sons go through is one of hers I will never see. I want her more than I want anything. I still feel some times like I can't go on living without her being a part of my life. But some times, most of the time, I am completely numb. I can't feel like it is real any more. I can hardly remember holding her. And that is so much worse than all of the pain when I miss her. That's why I'm telling this, and one other reason.

All this week, as I've thought about our birth together, Lucy's and Mine, I've so bitterly resented the way the enjoyment of that moment has bee so utterly destroyed for me, but tonight, as I lay next to my husband, exhausted, yet unable to sleep, it occurred to me, not to think of it as a moment that was ruined by what followed, but as a gift. The only thing Lucy could give me, something God gave me to salvage what I could of her cruelly short life. It doesn't bring her back. Sometimes, when I reach an important moment like this in my healing, just for a moment, I feel as if I have won, I have arrived, that was the point of all of this, so I can have her back now right? Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, and my arms are still empty, but I have a few things to hold onto, and even in her death, Lucy has given me, through this memory, one more thing to hold on to, even though it is just a moment.

The Myth of Expensive Cloth Diapers part 2

Spend your money on what shows. If you have $2500 to spend on cloth diapers, go for it. I talked about in the last post why I don't think that that is a waste. But most of us don't have that kind of money.

The majority of the fanciest diapers on the market today are what are called fitted diapers. They snap or velcro on like a disposable diaper, but they don't have a waterproof layer. So you spend $28 on what is a really gorgeous diaper, and then you put a cover on it. Only mom or dad sees it. It's job is to be absorbent, that's it.

So here's my philosophy of diapers. Choose what you put on the inside (the absorbent part) for what it FEELS like, and splurge on what will show.

A lot of people do this by using wool covers. Wool is natural, breathable, and can be dyed, knitted, and crocheted into the craziest pants you've ever seen. It also has to be hand washed. That alone is not bad, and don't hear me saying here that wool is a bad option at all, but using knit or crocheted wool pants as a diaper cover is just not for us. I'll post another day about wool interlock, but in general this is not a convenient option for a lot of people.

Most people need to use something with a PUL waterproof layer that can be easily laundered, and used again and again- something that can survive jumps in a mud puddle, sliding down the concrete stairs, running through the weeds- something that looks like a diaper.

So why, when people are spending as much as $45 on elaborate fitted diapers, are 99.99% of the PUL covers on the market something utilitarian, with white edge binding, bulges from poor fit, snap down adjustable rises, and basically ugly and boring?

Why don't we spend out money on something that shows? That's what Diaper Circus is here for.

We make fabulously soft, trim, and absorbent diapers. They fold in easy peasy, and then you put them in a cover that is a riot of color.

I am very picky about the fabric selection for our covers. If it is only cute because they are a baby, it will not make the cut around here. And as far as custom goes, the sky is the limit. Those hand dyed fitted diapers in the last post are beautiful, but what if that was on the outside? I will hand dye your bamboo velour or jersey, for rich vibrant solids, or a rainbow, and then we can add a pocket, or ruffles, or a monogram, or Alabama Chanin style appliqué.

I want your baby to be wearing something really special!

Remember when everything a baby wore or slept with was lovingly hand made by family and friends? Most of us don't have the time or skill to do that any more, but we can share the work with one another. There is an enormous network of work at home moms, who can make just about anything you dream up for your baby. Doesn't your baby deserve the best? And you can do it for less than you would be spending on trash.

Cost of Diapers, A Second Look OR The Myth of Expensive Cloth Diapers part 1

A while back there was a thread on diaperswappers.com called "the prettiest diaper you've ever seen", or something to that effect. There were dozens of opinions on what makes a cute diaper, but one particular post got a lot of attention.

A mama had had 24 diaper cuts dyed in custom colorways by talented textile dyer, Tickety Bu. The smallest of Tickety Bu's items range from $14-20, so I'm guessing that she would normally charge $10-12 for a diaper cut without any sewing done to it. Then the mama had these cuts sewn into fitted diapers. Now, a lot of WAHMs are charging around $28 for this type of fitted, but even if she chose someone on the cheaper end of the spectrum that is about $18 each. Both of these artisans may have given her a volume discount, but we are probably talking about $670 dollars on a diaper stash, and she still needs to cover these with something waterproof, and they are sized, so she probably needs two more sets. I'm guessing that someone who orders this fancy of a diaper is covering it with wool, not some tacky mass produced PUL cover by bummis or thirsties, so that is like $40 each for 4-6 covers per size. Overall you are looking at $2500 birth to potty cloth diapering stash.

When I first did this math, I am coming from the perspective that you can build an adequate diaper stash for a tenth of this, much less if you are on a budget, can sew, buy used, etc. Don't people use cloth diapers to save money?

But, think about it. The average family will spend that much or more on disposables for one child. At the very least she is breaking even, only her money is going to moms, to artists, allowing them to stay home with their kids. Her child is wearing the best of the best, and every piece was given hours of care, and attention to every detail. Aside from that, she can use these for multiple children, she will probably get half of her money back selling them used, and they will probably never end up in a landfill.

With accurate averages I can show you that cloth will save you around $2000 per child, but it really doesn't have to to be worth it.

Grand Reopening Party: You're Invited!

Product Distinctives

A friend asked what makes our diapers great and unique. These are the product descriptions I have typed up for our system that will be going up in the shop in a few days, but I thought I would post them here first.

At Diaper Circus doing the right thing for your baby, your budget, and your planet is fun with beautiful designer prints, vibrant hand dyed bamboo velour, simple care routines, and a great fit.. I want your baby to be wearing something really special. Diaper Circus began because I believed I could make a better diaper than anything I could buy, and I still believe that our diaper is the best. I believe you will find in our products a fit you never thought possible with popular commercial diapering brands, a no hassle system that takes the stress out of cloth diapering, and a beautiful garment that demonstrates the love and care you put into meeting your baby's needs.

Bamboo Easy-Fold

This is a plain and simple diaper in the very highest quality of fabrics. Organic bamboo fleece is naturally sustainable, silky soft, and extra absorbent. Two layers of heavy fleece wash and dry thoroughly, but fold in thirds for 6 layers of absorbency that fit perfectly in to Diaper Circus waterproof covers. Stitched in fold lines make stuffing a breeze. Two sizes will fit most babies from birth to potty learning.

Small, 11x13", 7-18 lbs

Large, 14x15", 11-36 lbs

Waterproof Diaper Covers

Designer cotton print on the outside, and wipe clean PUL on the inside. Even babies deserve good design. We pair bright, beautiful patterns with colorful matching PUL. No washed out pastels, or cheesy themes.

Hand dyed organic bamboo velour on the outside, and wipe clean PUL on the inside. This cover combines squishy softness with rich delicious color. Semi-solids match more outfits than a print, and add a little luxury to your diaper stash.

Our covers have elastic across the front for boys, skinny babies, and tummy sleepers. This sits under the belly, instead of at the belly button for a more comfortable fit, less skin exposed to wetness, and no rubbing a newborn's umbilical cord stump. Our angled pattern design requires less bulk to hold the same insert on the same size baby. Two sizes will fit most babies from birth to potty learning.

Small, 7-18 lbs, 10-18" waist, 4-10" leg, 14" rise

Large, 11-36 lbs, 13-20" waist, 8-15" leg, 18" rise

Turned and Topstitched covers with cased elastic mean that only wipe clean fabric is on the inside of your diaper cover. Easier to clean cover have fewer stains, and do not have to be washed as often. That means you don't need to buy as many!

Snaps are arranged with studs on one side and sockets on the other. This allows you to roll the diaper up to contain messes, and uses snap parts evenly which saves you money. Choose snaps for low maintenance laundering. Snaps don't stick to things in the wash, or get filled with lint.

Hook and loop have laundry tabs to avoid sticking together in the wash, and soft loop fabric on the tummy which is more flexible than tape. Choose hook and loop for an easy fit at change time. Hook and loop sticks exactly where you need it to, instead of at set increments.

keeping me humble

I've been absentee on here for a while. There comes a point where enjoying the beautiful things in your life means you don't have time to write about them. The same goes for enduring the tragic.

However, as we do our best to reopen the shop, and build our business, after losing Lucy, I should be posting on here a little more regularly.

This is what's happening today:

When my boys break out in a rash, all it takes to start clearing it up is wearing disposable diapers for a while. This is infuriating. Both boys had rashes at bed time Wednesday. Yesterday morning, after sleeping in disposables, they woke up looking much better, so they wore cloth for the day, as usual, but by evening they were fried again.

Now, all the time on diaperswappers.com there are threads where a mom says she is using disposables for one reason or another, and the community tells her, don't feel guilty for using disposables, the whole point is to do what's best for your family and your baby, etc. But it's a lot different when it's you. It's different when you are always telling people how cloth is best. It's different when you are attempting to make a living based on the concept that cloth is best.

I feel like a hypocrite.

Now, I know that a lot of people use cloth because their baby breaks out every time they are in a disposable diaper. I know there are a lot of other reasons cloth is best. We use cloth all of the time, and only have rashes on occasion. We spend extra on special brands of disposables that don't have the bad chemicals in most disposables.

I know that I am not lying when I say cloth is best, but maybe God gave me the boys he did, who's bottoms heal when they are wearing disposable diapers, just to help me say that humbly, just so I'll leave room for everyone's individual situation when I do.

The No Stink, No Complications, Diaper Laundry Solution

This post was written by, and is used with permission of Sarah Beth at whereverafter.blogspot.com.

Let's face it. If you've been cloth diapering for a while, you've probably, somewhere along the road, run into the dreaded "stink."

If you've considered cloth diapering in the past, but talked yourself out of it, it was probably because of what you've heard about the dreaded stink.

I've been there. I've done the research. I've tried it all.

And I've heard it all:

• Your diapers stink because they have build up and you need to strip them.
• Your diapers stink because you used too much detergent.
• Your diapers stink because you used the wrong kind of detergent.
• Your diapers stink because you were using vinegar in your wash.
• Your diapers stink because you were not using vinegar in your wash.
• You need to bleach your diapers to get rid of the stink.
• Never bleach your diapers to get rid of the stink, you'll ruin them!

...It goes on and on. It's enough to make your head spin.

When did diaper laundry become so complicated?!

When I first started cloth diapering, I used mostly microfiber inserts, one of the toughest fibers to get clean and stink-free. I was told by the experts to wash my diapers using no more than 1/4 the amount of laundry detergent I would normally use on a load of laundry. Not only that, but I needed to use a special kind of detergent that is considered safe for cloth diapers, if I wanted to prevent problems and build up, whatever that was.

I was new and completely clueless about cloth diapering, so I took the advice, purchased some special detergent, and went my merry way. Fast forward to a few weeks of following this standard cloth diaper laundry protocol, and my microfiber inserts were disgusting. They stunk every time I got them out of the wash. They never seemed to get clean. I made it my mission to figure out why the things could possibly stink so badly after following all of the advice I was given to the letter.

I learned that "build up" is the fear of all cloth diaperers. We are so afraid of it, that we will do everything we can to prevent it, to the point of using as little detergent as possible, or even NO detergent in our wash routine. (Yes, I've had people tell me to just use hot water and maybe some baking soda in the wash.) The worry is, if you use too much detergent, or detergents that are not considered cloth diaper "safe," you could end up with so much residue built up in your diapers that they won't be able to absorb anything else, and they'll leak the next time you use them on your baby.

So I thought, well, maybe I have build up. So I "stripped" my diapers and my washing machine and washed my diapers.

It didn't work. They still stunk.

So I tried switching to a different detergent. I tried many "cloth safe" detergents, both store-bought and home-made. I tried soaking them in the detergents overnight. I tried changing my wash routine. I tried hotter water, more water, less water, more rinses, less rinses. I tried boiling my inserts. I tried vinegar. I tried it all. Sometimes, boiling or vinegar would seem to work at first, but then my diaper inserts would come back with a stinky vengeance a few days later.

Then, one day, an old cloth diapering pro told me to try more detergent. They told me to go to the store and buy some Tide, use the amount recommended on the bottle for my load size, and never look back.

I was worried about everything I had heard about "ruining" my diapers. But I was desperate. So I tried it.

I scrapped all the fancy wash routines and complicated laundry solutions I had heard about and washed my diapers in a hot wash with a whole cap full of Tide.

My diapers came out of the wash smelling like sweet nothing for the first time ever!

And I never looked back.

So, what is the "No Stink, No Complications, Diaper Laundry Solution?"

MORE DETERGENT.

Our babies are pooping on these things. We should be using more detergent on our diaper laundry, not less. It's counter-intuitive to use 1/4 the normal amount of detergent on your dirtiest laundry.

Diaper stink means diapers are not getting clean. Plain and simple. If a diaper comes out of the laundry and still stinks, it needs to go back into the laundry with more detergent, more hot water, and maybe even a little bleach.

Don't be afraid of "ruining" your diapers. I know how much we all love our cutest diapers, but never forget that they are just diapers. They're not made of lace. They can handle it. If you're worried about something made with elastic or delicate materials getting "ruined" in a normal wash cycle with plenty of detergent and the occasional bleach, by all means, take that item out before washing. But remember that these are just diapers. Eventually they will wear out and need to be replaced. We can't prevent that and prevent stink at the same time. They need to be washed.

If your baby pooped on your favorite shirt, what would you do? I'll bet you'd make sure you got that sucker good and clean. Why do we treat our diapers any differently?

It's not about which detergent you use. That's a personal family decision. Lots of factors may affect your choice of detergent: your concern about the environment, the type of water you have, your desire to buy from small businesses instead of big businesses or visa versa, your desire to buy at a certain grocery store, price, allergies, sensitivities, etc. But, in my opinion, which detergent you use is not as important as how much detergent you use.

Don’t spend too much time researching the “best” way to care for cloth diapers. Remember that:
They are cloth, just like everything else. They are washable. They don’t need special treatment unless they're made from delicate or special materials, like wool, or elastic. Even then, be aware that diapers will wear out eventually, just like everything else.

Deal with build up as it occurs, not the other way around. Some cloth diaperers have been using Tide, bleach, and the like for years and have never had build up. Others have dealt with it several times. Either way, it's not something to fear. It won't break your diapers. It's easily remedied with stripping and lots of rinsing. I'd rather have build up once in a great while than stinky dirty diapers every day.

Having problems with ammonia? This is a very informative and helpful article.

Look, I realize that this is a bit of a controversial topic, and that I'm in quite the minority with this kind of advice. (Although, from those that I've talked to, it seems that there are lots of closet Tide, bleach, and more-than-recommended detergent users out there!) I certainly don't mean to imply that I know everything, or that all of the other cloth diaper laundry advice out there is wrong. There are lots of unique situations that account for the large variety of washing advice circulating around out there. I know nothing about allergies and sensitivities, for example, and I'm aware that rashes and allergies and sensitivities can add a whole new level to the laundry debate. But, I do believe that "more detergent" is the answer for many cloth diaperers who are dealing with stink and confused about what to do.

Bottom Line:

If your diapers stink, they aren't getting clean enough. Try using a stronger detergent and plenty of it, before trying the more complicated remedies out there.

Newborn Fluff pt. 1

Instead of this being a one-right-after-the-other type of two part series, part two of this will be a long time in coming, but I wanted to take time to post about what we are planning to try with this new baby. (Have I even posted on here that we are expecting again? It's been a while since I've been on here, but Hooray! We are expecting a baby girl Lucy Soul, in February.)

I'll start with a little history. With Efrim we got gDiapers as gifts and used disposables until he fit them. In the end gDiapers were a disaster for us anyway. With Julian we used the small gCloth inserts in my covers to start with since they were comparable to other name brand newborn inserts, but he was peeing through them before he was two weeks old.

Since then I have been on Diaperswappers.com forun for almost a year, and learned a whole lot about what works and doesn't work for other people.

So with Lucy we are still going to use my small/size 1 covers, which she will be able to wear for a while, but inside we are going to go with something more absorbent, and we want to use something we can pin or snappi so it fits more snugly around a tiny baby inside a looser cover.

So here is what we have planned:

18 covers (because they're homemade so I can have that many if I want)
12 cloth eez workhorse fitteds
6 gmd infant fitteds
6 bamboo fleece trifolds
6 newborn prefolds

As I discussed in the prefolds and flats comparison Cloth Eez workhorse fitteds, by greenmountaindiapers.com, have a very good reputation as a newborn diaper. They should be both trim and absorbent.

Green mountain diapers also makes an "infant fitted" for just a little more that is supposed to fit from 5-13lbs. I read a review that says they fit even longer, and were her favorite for the newborn stage. I got 6 used off fsot (for sale or trade), but they look bigger than I expected, so we will try those out, but not register for more.

I have a few homemade trifolds that probably won't pin, but they will be about as trim as the gCloth were with a lot more absorbency, and will fit someone really tiny.

We have a few trimmed econobum prefolds that Julian wore when he flooded everything else. They will be too bulky at first, and probably too stiff and thick to snappi. I am also going to get some newborn imagine prefolds as well. I saw a pic on diaperswappers of one snappi'd on a little newborn, and it looked so trim and great.

This gives us a variety, so if we find we are needing more I know what works best.

In any case the small flats the boys are outgrowing will fit pretty soon, and then she will be golden.

I will post pics when we get them, and let you know what we think once we actually get to try everything.

Why use cloth diapers.

Would you rather consume over 300 pounds of wood, 50 pounds of petroleum feedstocks and 20 pounds of chlorine per year, and throw all of that in a land fill (roughly doubling your families current waste out put), OR about three laundry baskets worth of renewable resources for all of your babies birth to potty, and water (the most renewable resource, water cycle in second grade anyone)?

Would you rather spend about $300 on diapers or $3000? This is a really rough estimate since you can choose a large or small stash, fancy or plain jane, and use it for one baby or five.

Would you rather wrap your baby's tenderest parts in wood pulp and harmful chemicals, or in 100% cotton? All quoted from realdiaperassociation.org, "Disposable diapers contain traces of Dioxin, an extremely toxic by-product of the paper-bleaching process. It is a carcinogenic chemical, listed by the EPA as the most toxic of all cancer-linked chemicals. It is banned in most countries, but not the U.S. Disposable diapers contain Tributyl-tin (TBT) - a toxic pollutant known to cause hormonal problems in humans and animals. Disposable diapers contain sodium polyacrylate, a type of super absorbent polymer (SAP), which becomes a gel-like substance when wet. A similar substance had been used in super-absorbency tampons until the early 1980s when it was revealed that the material increased the risk of toxic shock syndrome by increasing absorbency and improving the environment for the growth of toxin-producing bacteria."

Would you rather give your baby something unique and precious or something mass produced in a chemical plant for the purpose of being thrown away? I like to put my cheap flats and prefolds into cute work at home mom covers (mostly made my me of course). There will be less than a dozen of any of these covers available in the universe. My baby can wear them again and again, and even pass them on to siblings. Precious. It just makes sense to me when I spend hours agonizing over what to feed them and cloth them, and sleep them in to put something precious on their bottom too.

These are all straight forward, but there are som pretty valid reasons people choose not to cloth diaper. I want to show that those reasons are also easily surmountable.

"I just can't add anything to our busy lifestyle. Caring for small children is so much work already."

Trust me, I totally understand this. There is a lot that goes undone in our house. But cloth diapering really doesn't have to be the load of extra work you imagine. If you have a house of small children you are doing laundry every day or two anyway. Diapers are one extra load 2 or 3 times per week, and a lot of people never bother to fold them. You can set up a cute changing table with pretty little baskets, or you can use them right out of the basket. To me it is a lot easier than running to the store every time we run out of diapers- just throw them in the washer, and then the dryer.

"It just costs so much to start up with cloth, even though it is more expensive in the long run, it is easier for us to spend $25 every week or so than all at once."

We have been here too. Living pay check to pay check it seems impossible to afford the start up costs. But I beg you to do what is best for your family in the long run. Find the money somewhere. I regret every dollar we spent on a package of disposables because I didn't think we could afford a better cloth stash. What a great stash we would have now if I had known how to buy in to cloth wisely. I will elaborate in a later post, but it is this simple you can get by with 4 covers and 12 diapers, for as little as $64 dollars you can have enough cloth diapers for 24 hours. Find that money anywhere you can, and then you have $75/month to add more time between washes, and more convenience a little at a time.

"I want to use cloth with my baby, but I don't know how to register for them. So many people will give us disposables anyway. None of my friends and family know how to shop for cloth diapers."

Again, we've been there and done that. I'm there again, trying to get a newborn stash for this baby, but we can't get it all ourselves. Most people register at more than one place, and you probably have a few close friends who are willing to buy things on line, even though it's not as fun as shopping in a store. So this is what we are doing- I'll let you know how it works. I am making a regular Target baby registry for my grandmothers who are not tech savvy, and really just want to pick up something cute, and then I am making an Amazon Universal Registry. My sister or another hostess will have the permalink for this, plus people can find it by searching my name on Amazon. This has a few special baby products that aren't widely available in stores yet, and also our cloth diaper wishlist. That way if someone is willing to shop online for something we really need, they have a straight forward link to the shop and instructions about sizes and colors.

Choosing Prefolds and Flats, Part 2:How

I just posted this Prefolds and Flats Comparison on Diaper Swappers. I won't burden you with all of the charts here, but I wanted to give a little commentary on my findings, and some recommendations for those of you who are in the market.

Best Price for Value (best over all): Imagine (nickisdiapers.com) hands down.
Just to prove my point, there was a thread on Diaper Swappers the other day where a mama asked whether she should go for cloth eez from green mountain diapers, or imagine from nickis diapers. She had 12 or more responses saying Imagine are shorter (fit better in trim covers), softer, cheaper, etc. Imagine are $10 less per dozen than the other major brands, (ie: brands of the same quality). It is $7 cheaper per dozen for Imagine organic than for the cloth eez or diaper rite in conventional cotton. A lot of times in diapering you get what you pay for, and these price differences would be nothing if the product was poor quality, but I have had both imagine and clotheez prefolds, and just like the diaperswappers mamas said, Imagine are just as durable and absorbent, but softer and better fitting than other brands for an average of $2 each rather than $3.

tip: I always think you should size down in DSQ prefolds. They are almost all 4x8x4 ply, and I always find the size for my boys weight range too long and bulky.

Diaper Rite Large Flats (diaperjunction.com):
A lot of companies including Nickis/Imagine have only 27x27" flats and consider them one size, but as much as I like to size my boys down in things for trimness, these are getting a little short when we pad fold them, and will not snappi at all. Cloth Eez(greenmountaindiapers.com) and Diaper Rite are the only ones I have found with two sizes. So if you need smalls, I stand by Imagine being the best price, but if you need something bigger, go with Diaper Rite which are $4.50 less per dozen than Cloth Eez.

For special types of diapers: Cloth Eez by Green Mountain Diapers
While their prefolds and flats are more expensive than other brands greenmountaindiapers.com has some other neat types of diapers for way below the competition. I have not tried these three things myself, but they are on my newborn list, because they are highly recommended all over.

1. Workhorse Fitteds- These are "prefitteds" meaning a prefold made into a fitted. They come with snaps or no closure and are an especially poular newborn diaper. We are registering mostly these for Lucy in no closure. It is like using a prefold or flat, but with long wings to wrap around, trimmer between the legs, no folding. These are 4.95 each in newborn no closure, or 7.40 each in the other sizes. compare to other prefold to prefitted conversions at $10-12 each, or $7-10 if you provide your own prefolds.

2. Sherpa Diaper- For a while I was making "trifold inserts" out of hemp and bamboo fleece, because they are trimmer than a regular prefold, with 2 body layers of fleece and then you trifold like a prefold and lay it in a cover (or snappi). Making these got very tedious with no serger, and the materials are very expensive. Numerous other work at home moms make these, but because of the cost of materials you are giving away your time if you sell them for less than $6 each, and some sell for as much as $14. Cotton Sherpa is a bit cheaper, but it is still not very profitible for wahms to sell them for an economic price range. Clotheez has Sherpa diapers for 2.95 each in newborn or small and 3.25 in medium. Their Small is the same size as my "one size" was, and if you are trifolding should be plenty of diaper for an average wetter until potty learning. This is just not that much more than a prefold for a really trim luxurious diaper. Even other "name brand" fleece or jersey prefolds (flip and thirsties) are $7-8 each.

Choosing Prefolds and Flats, Part I:Why

First of all I wanted to give a little explanation, again, about why we use the types of diaper we do. There are so many pocket and all-in-one or all-in-two diapers out there. It seems to a lot of people that the only reason you would use prefolds or flats and covers is because of finances, but I can honestly say that regardless of cost we are not interested in these types of diapers.

For one, I don't find them to be more convenient. A pocket has to be stuffed, just like a cover, and most all-in-ones do not have enough absorbency for an older baby without adding a booster. As far as buying convenience is concerned it makes a lot more sense to me to add another dozen prefolds than one pocket or all-in-one diaper. Either way you are spending $15-24. Why pay for one more change between laundry when you could get 12 for the same price?

The other reason I don't like these options is that they are much more difficult to care for. A cover with PUL inside almost wipes clean, and the cotton prefold washes just like a tshirt, the easiest thing you have to care for. Pockets or all-in-ones on the other hand have synthetic fibers that develop strange smells over time, or a dozen layers of some absorbent fabric pressed up against a waterproof barrier. How does this every get clean? Also, many diapers claim that their insert agitates out in the wash, but I have tried very few that actually did. This means that, unlike with a cover and diaper, any insert that has to be stuffed when it is clean, has to be unstuffed when it is dirty. Yuck.

Finally, many of these diapers are just too bulky. Most are "one size" diapers, which is really such a joke. Who wants to put a diaper on an 8 lb newborn that would fit a 40 lb toddler? So many also have extra fleece stay dry layers and so forth. a pad folded flat in a well fitting cover is as trim as a disposable (and it doesn't grow to ten times it's size when wet), and unlike a pocket or all-in-one this combination will last three changes for $12-20 instead of one.

Covers with prefolds, flats, or fitteds just seem like the most common sense type of diaper to me. With the variety of covers out there, and your options of folding you can meet the needs of any body type and absorbency level a baby could have. They are much more economical and much easier to care for, and simplicity means trimness. We use these diapers because we love them, and they are best for our kids, not because we are broke.

Cloth Diapering Accessories 101

You will probably not be surprised to hear, that we are pretty minimalist when it comes to cloth diapering accessories. In addition to our diapers, covers, and wipes, we have only a few other helpers.

The first and most important are wet bags and a pail liner. I have a cute wet bag and travel wipes case to match the diaper bag, but it is good to have a back up wet bag too, in case you bring one home with dirty diapers in it, and need to go out again before you can wash it.

My wet bag is from American Country Designs on Etsy, but I like the ones I make better because the front zip is easier to use, and mine are attached inside so the pul doesn't turn inside out in the wash and have to be re stuffed. My wet bags are $14 for all PUL, or $20 with an outer layer of designer cotton print at tentrevival.etsy.com. You can get a 10% discount by using coupon code BLOGREADER.



For a diaper pail we use a small trash can with a Bummis Large Tote as a liner. It used to have a lid to contain the smell, which I'm sure is still around somewhere, but now it lives in the laundry room behind closed doors, so it wasn't used as much and is currently in hiding. I think I paid $16 for mine, but they are $18 now at Cottonbabies.com, which always has free shipping. We love this pail liner because it is really thick and sturdy, it fits our little pail perfectly, it is the least expensive we've found, and it has a drawstring for traveling.



We don't have a diaper sprayer, but I really want one for getting stickier messes off without having to dunk and swish. Who wants to touch that? Yuck. You can get the bumgenius on for $45 at Cottonbabies, it is the mostly popular. The fuzzibunz one is usually $34-$38 on Amazon. Or you can make your own, like in this tutorial for a lot less.

As far as detergent is concerned, there are about a hundred different types, and you can sample them all, or you can trust me when I say that Allen's Naturally Biodegradable is wonderful. The $52/gallon price tag might scare you off, but it uses only 1/4 oz per diaper load, and 1 oz or so per regular load (we use less), so it lasts 6 months or more. The gallon comes with a pump which makes it so easy to use, and I really trust with it that there is nothing left on our clothes after the wash. Use coupon code GOODWASH at Cottonbabies for free detergent shipping. This save a lot since a gallon is so heavy

I want to say here as well that while most cloth diapering websites will tell you you can't use store bought detergent on cloth diapers (anything with softeners, brighteners, or enzymes) We did so for six months or more before ever having any residue problems, and this could have been just because we were using really thick prefolds that needed extra rinsing.

Many websites have various "stripping" instructions for removing stinky residues from your diapers, but I have recently heard that you can use ammonia neutralizer made for fish tanks. It is a very harmless chemical (gentle enough for goldfish to live in) and gets to the source of what is making your diapers smell funny when wet.

Basically every once in a while you may need to run your diapers through a few extra rinses in case there is any build up. Anything "free and clear" will probably not be terrible for your diapers. Even regular powdered tide has quite a large following on Diaperswappers.com.