Saturday, May 29, 2010

Domestic Doldrums

I cannot even begin to tell yuo how much I hate washing dishes. I will put them off and put them off until everything else in the house is done, and then I will run errands, or take a nap. If I can convince myself and my friends that it is bad for my health to do them because it dries out my hands and makes rashes, I will decide they are RJ's responsibility and let them pile up until everything is molding and we have nothing left to use, because he comes home from work every day too tired to do anything, and if I am annoyed because the kitchen is too dirty to cook in I will blame him.

At this point it is sin. There are no other terms, and no excuses. I have been so ashamed, and still not motivated to fix it. Only God can make me a new person in this area of my life. I have been so convicted lately of the way I use my health problems, pregnancy, and lack of experience as excuses not to do the things that God has called me to do as the caretaker of my home, and that I owe my sweet husband, who works so hard so I can stay home to take care of our children and our home.

Prayerfully overcoming this has been my top priority lately. Then right in the middle I have days like yesterday. Days where I can't find the motivation to get off the couch. Days where I cry all day for no reason. Days where Efrim catches on to my bad mood and cries all day to, which only makes it worse. I know this is hormonal because of being pregnant. I had hoped it would pass with the first trimester. I don't know what to do. I push myself to do as much as I can, and dream of a little break, a little escape.

The trick is to keep moving as much as I can, and not let a bad day keep me from getting things done on the next day. Not to fall into a rut. The key is to recognize sin as sin and hormones as hormones, and respond accordingly. Every day I start with prayer is better than it would be without.

2 comments:

Cindy K said...

Millard and I do the evening dishes together--he washes; I dry and put away. We talk a lot while we work, which is after the girls are in their room for the evening. I remember my grandparents washing dishes together, too!

Tristan & Melissa Summers said...

Tristan and I wash together too because we have(I am off for the summer) both worked full time. He washes and I dry and put them away. It works out great and it is good quality time too. The past month though was crazy because Tristan was doing lots of studying for the 3rd part of the CPA exam and working so I had to do the dishes alone...and I really dislike doing the dishes...I have to be in the right mood to do them most times and when I come home from work I am not in the mood...needless to say things piled up alot...which makes it worse. I feel like it's much better if I wash an item right when I use it...the times when I can keep that up are best.