I cannot even begin to tell yuo how much I hate washing dishes. I will put them off and put them off until everything else in the house is done, and then I will run errands, or take a nap. If I can convince myself and my friends that it is bad for my health to do them because it dries out my hands and makes rashes, I will decide they are RJ's responsibility and let them pile up until everything is molding and we have nothing left to use, because he comes home from work every day too tired to do anything, and if I am annoyed because the kitchen is too dirty to cook in I will blame him.
At this point it is sin. There are no other terms, and no excuses. I have been so ashamed, and still not motivated to fix it. Only God can make me a new person in this area of my life. I have been so convicted lately of the way I use my health problems, pregnancy, and lack of experience as excuses not to do the things that God has called me to do as the caretaker of my home, and that I owe my sweet husband, who works so hard so I can stay home to take care of our children and our home.
Prayerfully overcoming this has been my top priority lately. Then right in the middle I have days like yesterday. Days where I can't find the motivation to get off the couch. Days where I cry all day for no reason. Days where Efrim catches on to my bad mood and cries all day to, which only makes it worse. I know this is hormonal because of being pregnant. I had hoped it would pass with the first trimester. I don't know what to do. I push myself to do as much as I can, and dream of a little break, a little escape.
The trick is to keep moving as much as I can, and not let a bad day keep me from getting things done on the next day. Not to fall into a rut. The key is to recognize sin as sin and hormones as hormones, and respond accordingly. Every day I start with prayer is better than it would be without.