Friday, March 12, 2010

Just Trying to Figure Things Out

This will be a short post as I have been totally unproductive in all areas of my life today. Some days it is just harder than others to get off the couch.

I just sit and ponder. I like to be an organized person, purposeful and planned. It is frustrating to me when my baby cries every ime I put him down and I don't know what to do about it. Why is he such a discontent little fellow? What did women do who had so many things to do around their homes to make them run? Did they just listen to screaming all day? Did their babies just get over it? Where did they put them? We know that wealthy women had nannies, and women who worked for others just tied them on, until they were too big, but what about the women who cared for their own homes? What about the babies who were too big? There were no daycares, but women working at home worked just as surely and busily as those who go to an office. What did they do with their babies?

This is the main thing I am trying to figure out, but there are others. I thought about posting today about Family Missions statements. There is a good link at a blog called SimpleMom. A friend named Terri Price told me that she and her husband set out an idea of what they wanted their home/family to be like and then they pray and work toward that end. I want RJ and I to work on this. He has agreed, but seemingly never has time.

I confess that I look for checklists all day, but never find other people's to be very satisfying. A family friend once said that I spend my time making lists. This is the truth. I want everything in life to boil down to bullet points I can check off. I know it is not like this, probably better that it's not, but I often wish for it. I know that the messiness of life makes it beautiful, but it also makes it so damned hard to figure out. If I don't have a checklist how am I supposed to know what to do next.

Sitting here listening to Efrim scream is torturous, but I don't know what else to do for him. He's been fed, and napped, and changed, and I've held him nearly all day. Why does a baby with all of his physical needs met lay in a field of toys (such a mess) and scream?

I am so behind on so many things I need to do, and I can't find the motivation to catch up. I just want to take a nap, but when I lay down I can't sleep. This is just me whining now so I'll go.

What do you do when you feel like this?

1 comment:

Tristan & Melissa Summers said...

I have days all the time when I am not motivated to do anything. I have kind of felt like that all week and now my spring break is over and I have to go back to work! Then, today I spent 8 and a half hours filing out job applications in Austin and I just found out that one of the sites didn't save any of my info!!!!! I spent hours working on that one site!!! UGH.. I am just pouting too!!!!